Friday 1 December 2017

Only Human



























I didn't grow up reading the Bible.

But I know about angels.

I'm not one.






I think I was thirteen when they first appeared. I think that was the first time. I was running around the block, like I always do when times are tough. It's comforting, jogging along the streets of this concrete jungle in the dark. You're alonge, and no one can touch your pain. No one but you.           Mom and Nan had just gotten back from the hospital, and...



Life is unfair, you know. Some of the meanest people out there has the best life can offer. They can afford anything they want. A new car, a big house, expensive wine... hospital bills. They're free. And then there's the little people. We who can barely pay the rent. We who have to eat beans and chicken noodle soup. We who can't afford the hospital bills. 
                         
I could see it in their eyes when I opened the door. They just stood there, in the choridor, looking at me. Like they'd seen a ghost, and I knew. Somehow I know. I could feel it. I saw it in their eyes. They got the news no one wants.         Nan helped mom into her room and tucked her in her bed. I was waiting outside, I didn't know what to do. Then she came out and closed the door, guiding me to the chair in the kitchen. "Your mommy", she said. And I could feel my chest aching. As if it was deep under water, the pressure stopping me from breathing, my heart trying to punch its way out of my chest... 



"Your mommy loves you very much, little angel" she continued. "And she'll allways be in here" she said, ticking a finger at my pounding chest. I could feel my eyes watering up, blurring my vision. "But she's very tired.". Nan really tried to make it sound as though it was nothing to worry about. "And she will soon have to sleep. And she might not wake up" she continued. "I know that you want her to be well, and happy. I do too! But don't worry, in her sleep she will go to better place - and dine among the gods!". It didn't matter how nice she made it sound. I couldn't speak, I knew that if I did, I would break. My cheeks were wet from tears, and my mouth was completely dry. Nan took my hands, held them tight and smiled. But I could see the tears in her eyes too. No parent should outlive their children... Just like no child should be left without a parent. I knew I couldn't save her. I would've tried, but... something told me there was no point in trying. So I could only try and smile back.






She knew I wouldn't speak, so she let go of my hands and went to check on mom.







I ran. 

And I ran. 

I ran into the dark.

And then... I was flying.

But I'm only human, right?




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